When is my industry going to stop lying?

I love magazines, but the way we treat our readers is infuriating. I've already explained the perverse economic incentives that result in us carpet bombing the world with "blow-in" subscription cards. Now I want to highlight the subscription offers that magazines send through the mail. They're full of lies.

Here's one I got today, which I've taken the liberty of annotating:

As you have no doubt guessed:

• there is no such thing as a "special courtesy rate"
• "guaranteed savings" is a meaningless phrase (and indeed you can often find magazine subscriptions cheaper through an agent--check eBay--or a credit card loyalty program)
• it makes no difference if you reply by the "reply by" date
• "statement of benefits itemization" are just empty words meant to invoke an invoice
• all those "free" or "included" things are just the regular content that's in the mag for everyone. 

Why do magazine circulation departments treat people like idiots? Well, sadly you know the answer to that one, too: because it works. Is the sort of reader who responds to this kind of insultingly dumb deceit really the target audience for this magazine?

(To anticipate the obvious response: yes, our own Wired subscription offers use some of these tricks, too. But the good news is that these are largely legacy issues, and we've got a new team in our circulation department that is revamping all of our marketing materials, shifting much of that job to the web. It won't happen overnight, but the first step of the cure is admitting that you've got a problem, etc...)

(And to anticipate the other obvious question: yes, I subscribed anyway. But on the website, not by responding to this moronic letter.)

Comments

[Nikita Kondraskov]

This ad might be some sort of a joke that the execs are sending eachother in business mails.

[Ducktape]

OMG, latenac (the person who works in subscription marketing), I hope you know that, no matter how bad the circulation industry is, Network Marketing (aka Multi-Level Marketing or MLM, aka Pyramid Schemes) is far, far worse.

In addition to losing you all of your friends who don't want to hear about your "exciting new business opportunity," your reputation for being a reasonably-intelligent and experienced business person by falling for a marketing scam, and making you go to more meetings that AA, it also permanently attaches your identify to that stupidity.

And it probably changes your behavior -- do you think that "Ann Carter" made a habit of spamming public boards and posting her telephone number and email address before she got into MLM? See, it makes you EVIL (and stupid, and broke).

Ducktape

[sucky]

Who subscribes to magazines nowadays anyway? Other than the lies they bait you with, they'll also sell your personal information to millions of other companies. So once you subscribe to even one magazine, you'll be bombarded with subscription offers for the rest of your life until there's no trees left to cut!

[Jeff McNeill]

It is disturbing to see people defend lying because "it works". Of course it works, otherwise there would be no motivation to lie. That does not make it defensible. Hello!

[John Breedlove]

Jeff, noone is defending lying because there is no lying in the above subscription card! Please point out specifically what you believe is a lie.

[Thom Brooks]

I've been a Wired subscriber for a few years now and lately I have noticed how much more advertising content is making the magazine thicker and thicker. Noise up, signal down.

I'm annoyed by ANYTHING that isn't actual content; at least the subscription cards fall out on their own. If there's an ad on both sides of a page, I rip the page out. The only thing worse than inserting heavy-duty cardboard pages (which support rubber-cemented-in crap) is ads which contain fragrances. At least we've been spared that, for the most part.

I agree with a poster above that most of the content is indeed available online, but it's still sometimes more enjoyable in print. However, when the torn-out stack exceeds the size of the magazine that's left over, that's when I'm cancelling my subscription.

[teqjack]

Heh.
I look at some of the extraneous stuff, same as other ads.
BUT
I look at the renewal notices ONLY to see when my subscription runs out. I learned long ago that while renewing is cheaper than the newsstand price, it is costlier than a new subscription. The reasoning apparently is that a new subscription is an increase in circulation and thus more valuable than merely keeping a current subscriber. Loyalty is to be penalized, not rewarded.

[david cushman]

They haven't got a clue.

[latenac]

Don't worry ducktape. I love publishing. And everyone in it except maybe some publishers consider themselves overworked and underpaid.

I did forget to mention that a good circulation person tracks web responses to direct mail as well. There are several ways to do that. But the circulation person for this magazine is probably also happy you paid more for the subscription.

I actually do think "because it works" is a valid excuse. All good circulation people test different direct mail packages and approaches to getting subscriptions. They go with the ones that have the highest return on investment not only for that specific effort but also 3-5 years down the road. The fact is direct mail with sort of copy and those annoying blow in cards pay off up front and 5 years down the road. If people stop responding to them then we'll have to look for something else. For my magazine the group of blow in cards that have the highest response happen to be the ones sent in subscriber copies not newsstand. Human behavior constantly surprises me.

[fredblotnic]

I only use the cards because its a convenient way of subscribing to a particular magazine. I never really take the claims seriously.

[Ryan]

Peeve 1: Most magazine renewal notices I get in the mail don't say WHEN my subscription is expiring. Some mags send them half a year in advance -- and the New Yorker just asked me to renew a two-year subscription with 11 months left on it -- so I just ignore these.

Peeve 2: When I can't cancel online (ADAM MOSS, I'M LOOKING AT YOU) but have to phone a call center, even though I can renew online. (Chris, your publisher is fine in this regard.)

[Ryan]

Peeve 3: Magazines that come bagged with a second "free" magazine, which is really just an advertising publication I never asked for. (Wired does this.)

Peeve 4: Same as Peeve 3, except I get the same "free" ad magazine three times, because Conde Nast is too dumb to look in their database and see how many of their magazines I get at home.

[bj]

I too am one of the few that doesn't mind the cards, they make for handy bookmarks for a favorite article or picture or marking your place if it's a long article.

Something that irks me is with subscription offers that offer a free issue ("if you don't like it just write CANCEL on the bill") but it only turns out to be a free issue if you do indeed cancel. Otherwise, it counts as the first issue of your subscription.

[Bill Bennett]

My "favorite" scam for years has been Wired's "Buy a $20 subscription for yourself and get a gift subscription for a friend for free." Of course, the actual subscription price is $10, so there's absolutely no discount in this offer, nor is the second subscription "free." I complained multiple times to Wired, but they just ignored my e-mails. Thought about complaining to the attorney general but never quite got around to it.

[Bruno]

Model Airplane News? Why pick on them?

Why didn't you dissect your own magazine's response card, Chris? I realize you have a nice little disclaimer in there but this is really unfair (and disappointing).

[Murph]

If we're complaining about magazine practices, I'd like to chime in with my hatred of the 'buried table of contents.' Making me wade through ads, looking for the TOC on page 13, makes me want to tear out those ads and burn them.

[Ahem]

I love it when people expose the insulting, Luddite practices of dinosaur companies - magazines, telcos, cable, consumer products, and banks (esp. credit cards) are all way too comfortable targeting the low end of the IQ scale. For my part, I always take every opportunity to bleed them at their own game. 2 free issues? Sure, I'll take 'em and then cancel. Teaser rate? Sure, I'll take it and then cancel. It takes a little effort to put the alerts into your PIM but, the joy of beating these pricks at their own game is totally worth it. I know those of us who do this are a statistical blip which washes out in the swell of lemmings who go over the cliff the marketing folks have laid out for them but, it still gives me a wee bit o satisfaction.

[Doug]

I recently let my subscription to "The Economist" expire. I had been a reader nearly non-stop for eight years. Why? The best renewal price they'd give me was more than the best price I could find for a new subscription. I spoke to them on the telephone even, and explained the situation, and they said not only would they not honor the new subscription price, but that if I tried to resubscribe after expiring, I would still not be counted as a new subscriber.

Too bad, too, because it's about the only news magazine worth reading. Now I read only New Scientist.

[Paulie]

The comment above is proof that there is only spam in the long tail.

[Irene]

"There's a sucker born every day." P.T. Barnum

[Irene]

Response to Murph: "Buried Table of Contents" annoys me so much I'm apt to stop trying to find it. Chris: Let me "trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries" (Shakespeare sonnet). WIRED article pages are overwhelmed now with the full page and 2 or 3 page ads. The magazine used to be accessible. Wherever I opened it, I found something interesting. I congratulate you on success. Will you use it to start another, more accessible magazine with Kevin Kelly? I don't buy a Lexus, but I have brought people to NextFest and given gift subscriptions. A grain of salt for the hype, please.

[robert]

Sheesh - despite your disclaimer about Wired, I'm a Canadian Wired reader who's subscription shows up well after the magazine hits the stands. Funny no one mentioned THAT little bit of truth in the sales pitch.

That issue aside (no pun intended), I knew things weren't heading in the right direction from the start. Shortly after subscribing, but before receiving my first magazine, your subscription department sent me a letter asking if I'd like to EXTEND my subscription.

When I wrote to complain, I received a nice form letter from Wired saying that they were sure my subscription would show up soon.

http://blog.bigsnit.com/index.php/2006/12/28/431

It seems to me you could have had easy pickings with Wired's own habits, no need to venture so far afield.

Robert in Vancouver

[Kevin Marks]

I'll second Doug's comment about the Economist. They have a negative incentive for renewing compared to subscribing fresh. You'd think of all magazines they'd understand economic incentives...
Like Doug, I didn't bother renewing.

[Matt Kern]

How about the one where you subscribe to a magazine and before your first subscription even shows up you are getting multiple "Your Subscription Is About To Expire" emails and postcards.

Also, they never actually put anything useful in the message like the true date that your subscription expires.

[RJ]

"If we did the same piece with a softer sell and without "lying" (which of course I think is a harsh word for this) then response rates would plummet."

Lies are lies, and the highlighted terms are lies.

If marketing effectiveness is enhanced by lying, so be it. But you should acknowledge that that is the nature of the business you choose to be in.

[Bruno]

@RJ "that is the nature of the business you choose to be in"

What business are you in, RJ? All business is lying. Period. Might be little white lies, might be big whoppers that wipe out billions in shareholder value overnight, but make no mistake - business is lying.

Instead the Long Tail, this ought to be called the Long Tale. Trite but true.

[Brendan P. Bartholomew]

Forgive me for blatantly tooting my own horn, but many years ago, in a short, non-fiction story entitled, "Thank You for Calling Sega," I revealed the true value of those little cards. Writing about those customers who foolishly abused me despite my having their contact information, I had this to say:

"If somebody was very nasty to me, I would record said information, with the intention of tormenting them until they die.

The easiest way of doing this is to fill out those little postage paid magazine subscription cards and check the box marked "Bill me later." The customer then gets magazines they didn't order and bills they weren't expecting. For this very reason, the raunchier porno magazines don't have "Bill me later" cards, but Playboy and Penthouse do. Some of those subscription cards even give you the option of sending gift subscriptions to other people. This makes it possible to have one asshole customer get billed for magazines being sent to some other asshole he's never even met.

Of course, subscription cards are for amateurs..."

I went on to describe more advanced forms of personal terrorism. You get the idea, I'm sure.

[Doug Wolkon - Author of The New Game]

Why should it cost the municipality that the cards end up in to dispose of them in their landfills and not the magazine producer. One way to get the industry to be a lot more selective about their lies is to force producers of waste (i.e. magazine paper in this case) to pay for the cost of disposal, at the time of waste production. The industry should also be forced to pay for any liter found as a result of its loose-leaf cards. As a result, such information will strategically become a lot more local. Finally, and certainly consistent with the Longtail, word-of-mouth marketing amongst consumers should force the industry to no longer lie or risk alienating their customer base.

[Michael Bamford]

A big problem with these postcards is that they negate the reputation of the magazine to use other services. I pay all my bills via the internet, usually via some sort of autopay feature and paperless billing. The cost to these companies to bill me is negligible. However, I would never trust an autopay or auto-renew subscription with a magazine that uses this senseless marketing - it clearly displays insensitivity to their customers. The pain to get out of such a subscription from a dumb company that uses such dumb marketing would be horrendous.

[Snake]

I just got a subscription offer from Wired in the mail today that offered a special "professional courtesy rate". how do they decide whether or not I'm a professional? or is that another lie? also, the envelope had a notice about being from the editor-in-chief, but it sounds like from your post (and i'm certainly not surprised) that you have nothing to do with subscription marketing. another lie.

now don't get me wrong--i enjoy what you're doing here. i thoroughly enjoyed an episode of Wired i caught on PBS (i think they're affiliated), but i have enough magazines that i'm behind in reading anyways.

[Chris Anderson]

Snake,

I'm told our circ department is revising our direct mail pieces as we work on improving the overall marketing strategy. And no, the letters are not "from" me, in the sense that my office mails them or otherwise handles that side of the business.

Yes, Wired Science on PBS is our show.

-c

[Ali]

I only use the cards because its a convenient way of subscribing to a particular magazine. I never really take the claims seriously.. çeviri

[kabin]

thanks...
Kabin
Konteyner

[matériel informatique]

In a highly amusing post, Wired Editor-in-Chief Chris Anderson annotates a magazine subscription notice under the title, "When is my industry going to stop lying?" Chris points out the innumerable lies that make up the average sub card.